Monthly Archives: July 2019

5.

Master took me to see the local graveyard today. I didn’t understand what was so special about it. It was just a place full of dead people.

Master said that we must respect those who lived before us, and that walking over their graves was not the best of ideas. I wasn’t to know that.

There were a lot of graves. And although most of them were fairly new, most of them were in a large state of disrepair.

Some graves were impressive, however, having stood against the test of time and I suppose I can respect that. Most of them were broken though – slabs of concrete and tombstones shattered across the grave.

There was a large amount of dead children. I was surprised by this as I thought only old people died. But my master told me that in the past, life expectancy was short and that many children died because they were more susceptible to disease. I just think they’re weak. Not like me.
The master scolded me, saying that I should consider myself lucky that I live in a time of better hygiene and medicines. I said I don’t, because I am only a figment of the master’s imagination. The master had nothing to say to that.

End.

Baby Pictures

The master pulled me aside the other day. She wanted to reminisce about the old times, she said. Whatever that means.

She showed me some pictures of me when I was younger. She says I was a lot more manageable and cuter then. I don’t know what she’s going on about. I think I’m perfectly fine the way I am.

She says that this picture is her favourite. Apparently she took it when we went to the park. She said that during the time the picture was taken, I was about to smile for the camera, but someone had caught my attention and I had wondered if they had called for me.

I don’t think I have ever smiled in a photo.

End.

Ears

People have been asking how my ears work, seeing how they resemble a bird’s wing, more than an ear. The simple answer to that is ‘they work like any other ear’. The more complicated answer is ‘you’ll have to ask my master’. You see, this is because I have no clue. I am merely a figment of my master’s imagination, and therefore logic and physics do not apply. I can tell you, however, is that yes, my ears are very floofy, and no, I cannot fly with them. That would be silly.

Update

So, update: I found I enjoyed ranting to the unknown. They all listen. Well, I can pretend they do, at the very least.

So expect to hear more from me. Although I have found there isn’t much to complain about. Life is rather peaceful atm. The master is pleased that I am doing something somewhat productive; my favourite top has dried, fresh from the clothes line; and there are some dumb birds fighting over pieces of shredded cheese before me. God, birds are dumb.

End.

The Beginning

So… apparently my master doesn’t agree that punching walls is a fine way to pass the time. She said that there was surely a more productive use of my time. I disagreed, but she gave me that ‘don’t you dare argue’ look, so I conceded. And decided to rant about it online. Because apparently that’s a thing.

End